Many people tell me that they have a hard time saying NO. They feel that it is not nice, polite, giving, etc. NO is considered negative even though it can truly have a positive impact on your life. It is time to change your perspective of the word NO.
Saying NO allows the time for working smart. It allows for quality time with family. It allows for personal time for the things you truly love and enjoy. It allows time for other good things to happen. If you are always running around ‘doing’ something for someone, you’ll find there isn’t time for your own goals to be accomplished.
How do you separate the requests in your life? How do you decide when to say YES and when to say NO? Here are 5 tips that will help you categorize your YES and NO’s.
1) Stop and think who will benefit from your YES. A friend of mine is constantly pressed by her family to do things for them. She has 2 jobs, a family of her own, yet is always running around helping them and her personal life clearly suffers. Saying YES only benefits her family members, not herself. At some point this will backfire. Her YES’s are having a negative impact on her life. Learning to say NO will add the positive she needs for balance to return.
2) NO emotions. Ask yourself why you feel compelled to say YES. If it is simply to ‘please’ someone else, that is not enough. If it is because you feel guilty for saying NO, that is not the right reason. If there isn’t a valid reason to say YES then you probably need to consider NO. Take the emotions out of the answer, and use logic.
3) Make a list of your priorities and don’t stray. When you write something down, it is clear and precise. Anything that deters from the list should be placed in the NO category. Priorities are more important than a YES. This is a good tactic with food and exercise. Going out to eat with a friend when you already started a diet isn’t a great idea, say NO. Check off ‘eat healthy’ and feel the positive influence. Your friend will understand.
4) NO discounting your personal desires. These encompass your whole health. Emotional, mental, and physical health. Taking the time to properly meditate or focus may not have value to someone else, but it carries huge value in your own life. Don’t let an outside YES interfere with that and say NO to protect your health & sanity when necessary.
5) NO hesitation. When you want to say NO and you KNOW you need to say NO, do not hesitate before or after. Do not give time for someone else to pressure. Don’t hesitate and then follow number 2 and avoid all emotions. Feel confident in your NO and stay strong.
The world we live in places much focus on saying yes but saying yes isn’t always the positive answer. Saying NO can sometimes be the most positive way to improve your life. Your work, health, family, & time can all benefit from your NO.