Participation Trophies: Just Say No

Political correctness, it’s gotten out of hand on so many levels. The notion that we can’t offend one person or group of people is ludicrous.  Whenever you change one phrase to something else, you are invariably upsetting a new group of people.  What they really should call it is ‘the minorities way of feeling superior.’ This is what lead us to participation trophies, among many other things.

Should all kids get trophies just for participating? No. Why? Because it is teaching that all people should be rewarded the same, and that is just a false ideology to succumb to.  What about the child who worked his tail off and gave extra effort and then in the end gets the same thing the child with the poor attitude who missed half the practices?  What is that teaching? The same thing our debt-ridden, progressive, socialist society is now teaching all the middle to lower class.  Why should I have to work?  I get more money if I don’t, and that person over there has more money than me so they should just give me some of theirs.  It is obvious no society has ever thrived with that mentality as a base.

Should kids be verbally encouraged and cheered on? Yes, of course. Should they have coaches that care and put forth an effort to truly motivate children?  Of course they should, but the kid that does the best should get the trophy.  It is what separates the men from the boys.  It motivates, encourages, and makes the difference with those children that want to do better and want to improve each day.

There is nothing wrong with teaching our differences. Some are good at volleyball, some are good at playing piano, others are good at math, while others may be good at science.  We are not all equally good at every single thing.  It’s exhausting for a child to even attempt and understand that.  It’s not natural.

I hate to burst some people’s bubbles, but there are some things that men are better at than women. Guess what?  Women are better than men at some things also. I know this is ground-breaking news for some people out there, but it is true.  Some people are skinnier, smarter, richer, faster, etc. I think the sooner children learn this, the better they will be emotionally, as well as more able to focus on their strengths instead of wasting time on their weaknesses.

If a child is really good at soccer, and gets discouraged because he never gets rewarded for his good play, then he might give it up or lose interest. The same goes for the child who is awful at something, yet keeps getting adults to basically ‘lie’ to him, and he keeps playing until one day the ruse can’t be continued any more.

My daughter ran in a school jog-a-thon a couple of years ago. She has always been very fast and has great lungs for running.  It turns out that she ran with a partner that year and they counted their laps as they crossed each start point, and yelled them out to me as they crossed. In the end, their laps totaled an amount equal to what the highest number of laps ran and they both thought they had won.  Turns out however, the teacher had counted their laps as one less and gave the winning number to another student who had ran the same amount as they (actually) did.

Of course the tears start rolling on both girls, and the dilemma began. As a parent, it is very hard for me to interfere in certain situations because I feel it is important to teach our children how to speak for themselves.  I did, although, happen to briefly mention that they had run the same amount of laps as the winner and that I had counted with them.  It was told to me by the teacher however that the faculty in charge of counting laps is the ultimate ‘authority’ and they were keeping it as announced.  Nothing to do but let it go at that point.
My daughter and her friend were obviously devastated and very upset. I gave the appropriate speech to my daughter, informing her that sometimes these things happen and they should be proud of themselves regardless.  Obviously it was a fundraiser for the school, so of course you give the ‘it’s for the school anyways speech.’  In my heart however, I was also devastated.  I have no problem with children who don’t win not getting a trophy, but I do feel that students who actually win should ‘get a trophy.’  I didn’t voice my opinion and we simply let the matter drop.  It would have been pointless to do otherwise.
Next year at the jog-a-thon, my daughter won by several laps and there was no counting error by any faculty members. So, even though she didn’t actually get the trophy the prior year, she was more determined than ever the next year and it motivated her to go above and beyond.  The point is, let kids be motivated and encouraged and rewarded for being the best at things.  Parents, get your children in activities that suit them and their ability if you are worried about them not getting a trophy.  There are enough extra-curriculars available today that something will suit your child and he/she can excel. Teach them that it is ok for someone to be better at one thing, while they are better at another thing.  One of the best ways to encourage hard, diligent work is to reward it.  Rewarding weakness promotes weakness, who wants that?