Everyone keeps asking ‘why does she stay’ or ‘why did he hit her’ when in reality we know the answers to both of those questions. She stayed for several reasons. He promised never to do it again, she loved him, she has kids with him, he threatened her, etc. He hit her for one reason, he’s a jerk who has not learned that he cannot hit those who cannot defend themselves. No other reason.
Why haven’t men learned? Because there is no great consequence for domestic violence. It is lightly punished consistently. Women don’t even report most cases, and when they do, many times don’t carry through. Even if they do, the man typically will not receive a punishment severe enough that deters the situation or teaches any life lesson.
Case in point the NFL. Domestic Violence? Game suspension. What? Really? Must be a joke! You mean I can punch an 18 month old child and get away with it? Still earn my millions? I can knock out my girlfriend, and seriously not help her up after? Just let her lifeless body hang half inside an elevator while I disrespectfully drag her on the ground. Oh, and she will marry me next month? I get to go on playing football? Great! so why not?
Does this place blame on Janay? No way. I understand why women stay and why it is hard to leave. I also do not know the intimate details of her life so I cannot speak for her. I do know that statistics show that men who hit typically hit again, so I would be extra cautious getting into a relationship where my boyfriend knocks me unconscious and would certainly wait a bit longer before I married him just to make sure he was well on the road to rehabilitation.
The only hope Ray Rice has is that the NFL holds firm on his ban, and he is unemployable in the entire industry, including down to the local little league football squad. Then maybe he might learn that he cannot do that sort of thing. But, as we have learned with our justice system, and the NFL basically has no justice system at all, we won’t hold our breath on any kind of punishment severe enough to deter.
How about the justice disparity with a white NBA owner being banned from the league for life for racial remarks (just words, which he said in private, to the woman paid to be with him, who illegally taped him, and then made public, in a country where I thought you could say whatever you wanted in the privacy of your own home because I’m certain most NFL players say quite a few damaging remarks in the same setting) yet an NFL player can beat a child or a woman and it’s simply a one or two game suspension? Seriously where is the candid camera, this must be a joke. Can someone please check the commissioner’s head.
Do I think people can change? Yes, I do. Do I think there are some good men who play in the NFL? Absolutely! But when you have men who are highly paid to hold up certain standards, those standards should include not hitting women. And just as we are supposed to teach our children from birth that there is a consequence for every action, this should hold true with our precious, ridiculously paid, glorified athletes that are out of control, as well as the average Joe Iraqi who beats or rapes his wife.
Jared Cook St. Louis Rams, you should absolutely be suspended WITHOUT PAY for touching your quarterback in a manner that resembles violence. It should not be tolerated. I have to stress without pay because the other two guys awaiting judgment for their violence cases are suspended WITH pay. Clearly not a punishment. Eagles/Redskins, you should all be suspended. Will the NFL place any punishment? Of course not. It’s called greed and money. They have placed both far above human decency, respect, character, morals, and any other good attribute. All they care about is the billions that get raked in each year.
Domestic Violence reaches all corners of the globe. Here in America, it just appears more civilized because we see Janay and Ray with their millions and their tears crying on the news as they go home to their mansion. We don’t get the picture of the Iranian woman who gets raped and her father and brother let it happen. We get the glorified version and we all carry on with our lives without teaching any lesson to these criminals.
Domestic violence cannot be cured. It is a world of 6 billion people that unfortunately will have men reared in ways that teach them it is ok to hurt women. The only way to curb or deter is to have the punishment fit the crime. I would think in America, we could start with our public figures and at least set the example for all men that it is not ok to punch, hurt, strangle, hit, any defenseless or weaker individual. Wake Up America, just say no.